About once a month my daughter and I take over the living room and just talk about life. Mostly her life, and what I remember from my youth. I can admit many of the things that I see her going through I remember, and glad to report, I survived them. The joys of teenage life, is that the experience are so different, yet the same.
Last night my daughter was discussing how she wanted to be famous, she felt so much bigger then where she was. So here is a snippet of our dialogue:
After her question, I shared how I wanted to be famous so people would know that I was important and wonderful. My daughter asked what happened, I responded with a smile that I was important and famous. She looked at me, only in a way a teen can, her wheels turning in her head trying to figure out if she'd missed something. I explained how I was important and felt important to Her, her father, family and friends. Discusssed how much of being famous is wanting to be loved, and I have that, and know that's all I ever wanted. Of course as her mother, I snuggled with her and kissed her forehead. I talked about following my heart to becoming a therapist, and my surprise with attending college (I struggled in school due to A.D.D) and doing well in college (well not the first year). I shared that I recognized she was so much bigger than where we lived but she would need to first recognize and accept how important she is right now. She looked at me proud but confused. I think that she understood but was unsure if she believed it.
I sat back thinking, about my feelings then. I loved to write, so I was going to write books, become famous and everyone, even those who had not loved me in my youth would admire and love me. I hated being awkward and uncertain in my teens. I was a tomboy, and couldn't dress. Plus no one ever showed me how to do my hair, so if didn't save to get my hair done. My hair was all over my head! I know most have gone through this in their lives. I remember just thinking fame would allow me to lose that awkwardness and become amazing. Looking at high school, it wasn't my best time but I was pretty amazing, had great friends, did sports, and wrote some great poetry that my family and friends often praised.
Actually, until Skye's conversation last night, I hadn't even thought about wanting to be famous; nor how important I feel, even how satisfied I am in my life. I had to shake my head and smile realizing. "Yeah Merc, you've come a long way, worked through some tough stuff, but I am here and important, most of all, I'm loved!"
I know my daughter has to go through these growing pains,which I explained to her; and yes, as her mother, I hate that she has to go through this but I can also testify that she can and will survive the tough times, no matter how tough. I know she will be fine, because her story is mine, and I will go as fat as to say most women's stories. Literally it is trying to discover who we are, where we want to be, and most of all self love!
What I have to admire about my daughter is that even though she is still trying to find her place, I admire how adventurous she is with her style. I would have never been that brave, hell, I am more adventurous in my style now because of her! Skye does not see how many of my friends, colleagues, and family admire her style and her doing her own things, yeah she is big time and if she stays true to who she is, she will be famous. How famous, will be determined by her and where she chooses to go.
My life isn't perfect but I have to admit that I'm good! But I am a super star,here in my home, with my family and friends. I am surrounded by super stars, so many amazing people. So, I can take this fame and run with it!!
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