My Voice, My word, My world...

Two weeks ago I lost my voice. I couldn't communicate, but had to do a lot of listening. Anyone that knows me, knows I am both a talker and listener. Heck, I get paid to do both and my full time job is all about giving presentations, so my voice is also my livelihood. I mean I could talk, but I had to strain to be understood, which just irritated my throat even more. So when I did talk, I had to make it count and get out what I needed to fast. Basically, say what I mean and mean what I say...quickly. I sounded like a frog.

I felt limited and frustrated, suddenly not being able to share, communicate, talk, i felt a little lost.  I hate canceling on my clients, I HATE not being heard, so not even saying what I feel or think or know, drove me crazy!! My voice is everything to me.

So no voice...no clients... I sat with Skye and listened to her discuss her friendships, preparing for high school, and her life. As much as I wanted to respond, I couldn't. You know what, I realized she just wanted to be heard and did not always want my opinion. It is good to just listen to her, for her voice to matter, for her to be heard. I was completely present for her.  Skye enjoyed our time together since I was home in the evening with her, not working, she had my full and undivided attention.

My husband enjoyed being able to hold up in his man cave without me all in his way.  I think he wasn't too worried once he knew my voice would be back. So he took in the silence.

I also found my clients to be completely sympathetic and worried. One even suggested I take the week off, which happened, not by choice of course.  When I got back to my clients last week they all checked in me, and reminded me how horrible I sounded on the phone.

So my lessons, listen more, even at work. Make sure when I do talk I really have something to say.  But mostly, its a reminder that I need to be fully present in what I do. By being present, this means more to my family and friends, and my clients than me speaking a million words or failing to truly hear what they have to say.  

In the end, we all just want to be heard, understood.