I Can't...I'm tired..busy...recuperating...

Like so many, I work hard and so when weekends come, I get lazy. I mean I will run errands, clean the house, maybe have a friend over but I usually don't leave the bubble of my city.  I repeat over and over, I am so tired, I have so much to do.   So for the most part, I just stay close to home.  

Then it hit me, I get lazy by weekends and choose not to do anything. I just don't want to exert the extra energy to leave my area, visit friends, go out, interact, talk.  I mean, how many times I cancelled plans because i was laid out on the couch...countless. Don't get me wrong I do a lot of traveling for work, that kept me busy and away, yet there were times I could have easily left my own couch to sit on some else's, watched a movie, do something beyond my little world. Yet, I didn't, just stayed in my bubble with my family and my dog.  Then I couldn't figure out why I felt bored and lonely, when my family had other plans. The funny thing is, most of my friends were doing the same thing...nothing.   I realize, I like many other mothers I know, have neglected my basic human need...socializing.  

I mean I love my husband and daughter and doggie.  I appreciate the things we do and the time we spend together, but I also know that I need my own time, fun time, social time.  Even though I am a therapist and know the importance of socializing, I was not practicing what I preach. I have been isolating from the world, allowing my lazy thoughts take control.

Even my husband said that I never want to do anything. I needed a life!!

So I went out a few weeks ago for a friend's graduation celebration.  I thought I might back out, the old voice in my head "you're tired, need to rest, have things to do..blah blah blah...." I knew I really wanted to get out for a night and step out my comfort zone.  My daughter picked the outfit out, because she dresses me often. Great to have a stylist in the house, okay I digress. So out the door I went...

Only knew two people there...party bus (never been on one)...going to clubs I was not familiar with...YUP stepping out my comfort zone!!

 I am usually social, in fact considered myself a social butterfly. I felt I could talk to anyone, anywhere. At least I could, but found myself quiet. Was I losing my sociability? I, who could interact with anyone, suddenly socially inept, shy, out of place?  I found this to be strange and have not had this happen before, what was this unfamiliar thing going on with me.  Eventually a nice couple interacted with me and this allowed me to relax and open up! The group was friendly and got me out of my shell. That night was very much needed, and reminded me, that life beyond my home is okay and it's nice to meet new people.  I also learned that I need to GET OUT SOMETIMES M!!

I danced (if that is what you want to call it, I don't have much rhythm), laughed and interacted with a new group of people. I realized that I need to get out, meet new people, try new things. I was just me, young and fun, and again social. I didn't think about my errands, my bills, home, work.  I didn't think about how tired I was (until I was sleepy, lol!), how hard I work that week, I just thought about fun.

    

I got in a rut in the last few years.  I got lazy in my own life! I know, I believe, I think like so many, that having my adult time keeps me sane! In that party I felt like me again, fun, social,light hearted and you know what... I am still pretty young. So why not get out of my comfort zone? I have no excuse...

Back In Action

I started this blog at the suggestion of my sister, Taylor and a few others.  I have so much to say, in fact an aunt of mine recently said I always know what to say. Funny thing is I don't always think about it, it just flows.  So much has happened since I last wrote on this or thought about it, so here is the break down of my life.

At 36 I suddenly like to shop and dress nicely.  I find myself looking on instagram for clothing ideas. I finally take a little extra time out for myself.  I mean I have taken over our poor closet, even told my husband that we need a new house. That's because I am thinking that I need a bigger closet, not really looking forward to having to clean a bigger house, LOL!!! But I love the way I feel in clothes, how I look in clothes and I love recreating the looks that I find. I think that I am a little adventurous with my dressing and with my daughter's consistent assistance, I step out of many comfort zones!!!

 I have travelled so much because of my job. I mean I have been in regions on the East Coast I may not have considered if not for the job. I gained an independence that I did not have before. I would travel to see friends, but never traveled on my own to discover (during downtime from work) the areas on my own.  I have enjoyed my work greatly, but definitely had to cut down on the travel. I missed most of last summer because of the travel.    I have gathered a new energy for therapy and my clients.  That has been great to be a more present therapist!!

My 13 year old is now ending her middle school career in a week and makes the lovely jump to high school (not sure I am ready for that!!). She has developed such a unique spirit that I admire and would not have had the balls to do. She is so shy (she didn't get that from me), but she is becoming such an amazing young lady.  She is also my height!!!  Thank goodness I am bigger than her, but can wear her shoes (and yes she wears mine).  My puppy, now dog Chewie has developed a unique personality that I absolutely love, he's the son I plan on not having!!!  Last but never least, my husband and I are learning to communicate better. 2013 has forced us to deal with many realities of our relationship and ourselves.  I love to see how much we continue to grow!!!

So I am back and think I have some great things to share, or at least I will get things off my chest and if others can learn from them and I can also, well this is all worth it. If nothing else, this will be a written testimonial to those who love me about who I am!!